Marriage with Mari: Is Control Ruining Your Marriage?

When one or both spouses are controlling, it makes an unhealthy marriage. It is dishonoring, unhealthy and diminishes the marriage covenant.

What is control?

Someone who is “controlling” tries to control situations to an extent that is unhealthy or tries to control other people.

A person may try to control a situation by placing themselves in charge and doing everything themselves. A person may try to control others through manipulation, coercion, or threats and intimidation.

Someone who is controlling may want to control people close to them, such as their partner or family members. Or, they may want to gain power and control over large groups of people.

What does God have to say about it?

We are to walk in all lowliness, gentleness with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love. Eph. 4:2

Endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit of Peace. Eph. 4:3 Husbands and wives you are one. What is more important than being right or having your way is the marriage. Learning how to listen and make each person feel understood and heard is important to the health and well being of your marriage.

Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma. Eph. 5:2 Demanding your way or the highway is not expressing God’s sacrificial love.

Submit one to another in the fear of God. Eph. 5:21

Reasons why people are controlling:


Past Hurts


Fear of rejection or failure

Whatever the reason, ask the Lord for His healing and help in your marriage. Recognize the need for control with your spouse. Talk to your spouse about how you might communicate in healthier ways.

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