Marriage with Mari: Forgiveness is Essential For Marital Unity

The most important skill and maintaining unity as a couple is forgiveness. You will make mistakes, disappoint one another, and make some poor decisions. The only way to keep your relationship growing in the midst of our humanity is to forgive. 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgives you. Colossians 3:13

Here are six statements to help people work through the process of forgiveness

1. I forgive (Name of Person) for offense that was committed

2 I admit that what was done was wrong

3. I do not require  (Name of Person) to make up for whatever he or she has

4. I will not define  (Name of Person) by what he or she has done. Instead, I will have to find him or her as someone who needs just as much grace in life as I do.

5. I will not manipulate  (Name of Person) with what he or she has done.

6. I will not allow what has happened to stop my personal growth.

Forgiveness is a vertical, private apt between you and God. Reconciliation is a horizontal act between people who have been separated by a hurt or grievance.A relationship is more likely to be restored if the offending party says, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. What can I do to make things right again?

Each person truly own his or her issues. This is not the time to rationalize, blame, or duck your guilt. Truly repentant people will say, “I’m sorry. What I did was wrong. Here’s why it was wrong. Please forgive me. What can I do to set things right again?” Then close your mouth and listen intently from the heart.

Forgiveness is all about grace. Loving Unconditionally. Love is wanting the best for the other person, regardless of the cost to you. Forgiveness costs emotionally, but bitterness and resentment extract even more from your life.

Farrell, B, 2005, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, Harvest House Publishers.

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