Mari Plank, Life Coach/Counselor

heal, renew, transform

Dance of Power: Overcoming Powerlessness

What is powerlessness?

It means to be without ability, influence, or power. It is feeling helpless, ineffective, useless, vulnerable, or defenseless. It feels like “I am a victim,” “I have no choices,” “I have no voice,” “I am not recognized,” “I am not seen, heard, or understood,” “Someone or something has more power and influence over me.” It feels like “I am stuck, defenseless, and helpless.”

What makes us powerless?

Relationships, situations, illness, or death of a loved one can make us feel power-less. We’ve lost control. We had no say in what happened. We were the victims of circum-stances or other peo- ple’s actions.

What takes away our power?

Insecurity and low self-esteem. One of the common elements I have seen in myself and others is a pervasive sense of insecurity. Often, we attract others who will take advantage of our vulnera- bility. They manipulate, control, and use emotional blackmail or other means to keep us powerless. The Deceiver tells us our voice and need for respect and safety is invalid. Therefore, we have no right to ask for these things, especially in relationships.

Fear of the unknown. Not knowing what you don’t know often increases anxiety and heightens fears. Without knowledge, we are subject to assumptions, fantasy thinking, or making emotional decisions. We think about the “worst-case scenario.” This only keeps us in the heightened state of fear.

Codependency. In all relationships where there is an imbalance of power, codependency plays a major role. Our damaged sense of worth drives us to rescue, excuse, save, and overlook the other person’s need for power and control.

Giving another person power over you. When I allow others to disrespect my person, boundaries, safety, or opinions, I am giving them power and control. I start to disappear and become invisible. What is left is their version of who I should be. This version always benefits them and diminishes me. A healthy relationship is always mutually beneficial to all parties.

Envision yourself as the dancer and dance your way to freedom!


Dance of Powerlessness/ Dance with The Deceiver


Dance of Power/ Dance with The Beloved

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